Welcome back to Taylor Talks!
I was just thinking about this moment that I shared with my little brother once… He must have been about nine or ten years old, because it was within the past few years. You know how kids are, where they’ll just say whatever comes to their minds? There’s no filter really, just blissful ignorance that their words can impact someone.
Well my brother had been talking to my mom about his adoption for some reason. Maybe it was around the time of our little sisters’ adoptions, I don’t really remember. But whatever the reason, they started talking about all of the adoptions and the way the kids all came into our home. And then my little brother turned to me and asked if I ever felt bad about not being adopted. He said that he felt a little bad for me, because, as he so sweetly put it, my mom got to choose to have all of my siblings, but she got stuck with me.
Of course, my mom always teases about that kind of thing, and my brother didn’t mean anything bad. I kind of just laughed it off and said something about how lucky my mom was to have been stuck with me so I could annoy her all of the time, or something along those lines. It didn’t really phase me. But the part about not being adopted and feeling bad? I had never thought about that before, and it still sticks with me to this day.
I don’t feel bad about being the only biological kid in the family, but I do feel odd sometimes. Like when we talk about adoptions, or the special days that each kid came into our home. Sometimes I feel like my siblings have so many special days, while I only have my birthday, and I share that with two other people now. It seems weird to think this way, I guess because in most families there’s only one adopted kid, so people would be making sure that they don’t feel bad or feel different from their siblings. With my family, it’s the opposite way, so it’s not something that we really think about. I’ve never felt left out, or different from my siblings. I’m so happy to have gotten siblings the way I have, because I think it’s the greatest feeling in the world to be told that your sibling can stay with you forever, and then get to go to a courthouse to make it official. But after the talk with my little brother, I do think about it every once in a while. Maybe not in a sad way, but in a ‘wow, that’s something to think about’ way.
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My family has been doing foster care since I was three years old. I'm the only biological child in my family, though I now have five permanent siblings. Having nineteen siblings over the course of my lifetime has been an incredible experience, and I'm hoping that by sharing some of the ups and downs of being the only bio kid in a foster family, other foster families or people looking into doing foster care will be able to learn a bit of what life can be like. I also like to share what life is like on my journey to becoming a published author, as well as where my schooling and career choice are taking me.