Equal Amounts of Love

Welcome back to Taylor Talks!

With all of the home movies my mom and I have been watching over the past few nights, I've been realizing a lot about my life. So much has changed over the course of my life, especially over the time in which I've had siblings come and go from my home.

When parents embark on their foster care journey, they might wonder what other family or friends will think of the foster children. Will they love the new kids as much as they love the biological children? Will they treat them with the same kindness and be as involved in their lives? Well, if you're as lucky as my family and I have been, then the answer is yes; your family and friends will love your foster children just as much as they love your biological children. But maybe biological kids beginning their foster care journey are wondering if the foster kids will get special treatment or more attention. Well, you might be relieved to learn that while parents, family, and friends will certainly put in extra effort to ensure that the new kids feel loved and at home, they won't be treated any differently. Actually, you'll all be given the same treatment, for the things you love in addition to the things that bug you.

Whether your family has grown through pregnancy, fostering, or adoption, I'm sure many people could relate to the way having siblings has changed my life. Most particularly, anyone who's the oldest child will understand what I'm talking about. It's a natural progression of childhood, I'm sure, but one that you probably don't even realize is happening as you (and your family size) grow. Or maybe you have realized, and it kind of annoys you. Most of the time, it doesn't faze me, but sometimes I wonder why life takes its course this way.

I'm talking about the get-togethers, the gift giving, the phone calls, the birthday cards... Have you ever noticed that as your family grows, the less you get attention from extended family and friends? Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that while aunts and uncles might be excited to buy birthday presents for an only child, they're not so willing to spend the hundreds it takes to buy gifts for everyone in a family of eight. I mean, sure, it's only natural to wish that you had a rich grandparent every once in a while, because who wouldn't enjoy being treated to a shopping spree? But overall, the way that gifts grow slimmer as your family expands doesn't really bother me too much. The family get-togethers and whatnot though? Yeah, sometimes that does bug me.

Think about it for a minute. If you're a three-year-old only child, odds are that your extended family is going to invite you and your parents to visit for every possible occasion, and they'll come to see you for birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving... But once you have a gaggle of siblings following you everywhere you go, people might be less willing to invite you all to their house, and they might not want to come for the holidays because it's just too noisy and chaotic at your house now. And yes, they love your siblings just as much as they love you, whether your family came together by birth, fostering, or adoption. But no matter how your family came together, it's still more of a hassle for everyone to get together when there's more kids to haul around.

Parents and biological kids who are preparing to become a foster family, I want you to rest easy. Odds are that your family and friends will treat your new additions exactly the same as they treat you, and they'll love the new kids just as much. But be prepared... Treating you all the same means that you get the good with the bad, the ups with the downs, and you're still going to be jealous of your only-child friends with the rich grandmas come the holiday season.

I only have two days to reach my goal of 150 likes on my Facebook author page by the time I'm celebrating a year of blogging on July 29th. I'm not so sure that I'm going to reach my goal in time, but I still would like to gain likes for my page at any rate. I need 37 people to hit that "like" button before I can reach 150, and I would be really grateful to everyone if you could like and share my page. It's as simple as clicking the two buttons at the top right of any blog page here, so it only takes a few seconds of your time! As I've mentioned before, when I reach 150 likes, I will share information about the novel that I've been working on, so I'm really excited to hit that milestone!

I’d greatly appreciate it if you would share this blog with friends and family through your favorite social media sites. If you’re sharing on Twitter, don’t forget to tag me (@TayTayK02) and use the hashtag #TaylorTalks.

Thanks!
Taylor

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