Welcome back to Taylor Talks!
Do you ever just have one of those days where you question all of your life choices, your past, the future you’re heading toward, and even why you got out of bed that morning? One of those days during which you work so hard to not cry all day, but by the time you get home, you just burst into tears? Yeah, I’m having one of those days. It’s been a rough one, but it’s almost over, so that’s good.
Student teaching is making me rethink my entire life’s goal of becoming a teacher. Maybe it’s just because of this Common Core Module nonsense… I’ve heard that lots of people are fed up with it. Maybe I’m just not used to working with fourth grade and need to grow accustomed to the material taught in this grade and how to help students with it. Maybe I’m just completely overtired because I’m at the school from 8:30am to after 5:00pm. Maybe by my next placement I’ll be in a better spot mentally and will be back to my normal self. But right now, I just can’t take it anymore and wish I could stay in bed all day with the blankets over my head and forget about having to graduate and grow up.
I think part of my problem is that I really miss my brother too. I haven’t written about this before, because it’s been hard on my family, and some things you just need to keep private (even if you’re blogging about every part of your life!)… My brother moved out on December 28th and I haven’t talked to him since then. I guess he feels like he needs to grow up and be independent, and I guess that means that he needs to live his own life without the family for a while. But I miss him like crazy, and on days when I’m having a hard time anyway, not having him around makes everything worse. I’m hoping that as he learns to navigate life and become his own person, then he’ll come home and everything will go back to the way it once was, but for right now, I guess I just need to let him live his life and miss him from afar.
Have you ever had a meltdown and second guessed all of your choices in life? I could really use a good story about making it out alright on the other side right about now, so feel free to share your struggles and triumphs in the comments.
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My family has been doing foster care since I was three years old. I'm the only biological child in my family, though I now have five permanent siblings. Having nineteen siblings over the course of my lifetime has been an incredible experience, and I'm hoping that by sharing some of the ups and downs of being the only bio kid in a foster family, other foster families or people looking into doing foster care will be able to learn a bit of what life can be like. I also like to share what life is like on my journey to becoming a published author, as well as where my schooling and career choice are taking me.