Welcome back to Taylor Talks!
Let's imagine a scenario for a moment. You have four children at home, a mix of biological and adopted kids. You also have a pair of foster children in your care, a brother/sister duo. The kids range in age from eighteen months to ten years old. You live in a small home with just enough room for the six kids to sleep comfortably at night. You wouldn't change it for the world, but it can definitely get crazy with a family of eight. Now you get a phone call from C.P.S. asking if you can take an infant who was just removed from her home. What do you say?
As painful as it can be, sometimes you need to say no to a placement. Believe me, you're going to bargain with yourself, try to convince yourself that you can do it all. You can rearrange the bedrooms. You can get your sister-in-law to come over after work to help you while you're figuring out the new routine. You can convince the oldest of your kids that they really want to do those extra chores so you have more time to focus on the new baby (yeah, okay). But you can't. As much as you think you can do all those things, sometimes you just can't.
Trying to make all of these things work just isn't good for anyone. Everyone has a limit, and yours might be three, five, or seven kids. Sometimes your limit is put in place by D.S.S. because you can only fit so many beds in your house. Sometimes your limit is put in place by you, because really, no one is perfect, and no one can handle it all. Why would you want to take in another child and try to make things work, when it would be better for everyone if you just said no? If you really step back from the situation and think about it, isn't it better for the child in question if they go to a foster home where they will have more time and attention focused on them, instead of being placed in a house where it's just too crazy already? It definitely hurts when you have to say no to a placement, but sometimes you have no other choice.
If you need to say no to a placement, you'll probably end up thinking about the child nonstop for a while. Are they okay in the home in which they were eventually placed? Could you have done anything differently in order to accommodate them in your own home? It's alright to think about them, and to wonder where they've ended up. But no, you couldn't have done anything differently. Sometimes you just need to turn down a placement. Sometimes the situation is just out of your control, and you need to remember to do what's best for the child and your family. Being a foster parent means making the difficult choices, no matter what those choices may be.
Thank you so much for your continued support! I look forward to sharing more stories about my experience with foster care, and hopefully hearing from readers who have questions or similar stories to share. I'm always willing to answer questions and hear about other experiences! Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!
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My family has been doing foster care since I was three years old. I'm the only biological child in my family, though I now have five permanent siblings. Having nineteen siblings over the course of my lifetime has been an incredible experience, and I'm hoping that by sharing some of the ups and downs of being the only bio kid in a foster family, other foster families or people looking into doing foster care will be able to learn a bit of what life can be like. I also like to share what life is like on my journey to becoming a published author, as well as where my schooling and career choice are taking me.