Life as a Writer, Disney World Cast Member, and
Big Sister through Foster Care & Adoption
Welcome back to Taylor Talks!
For those of you wondering, yes, I am still the color of a lobster. Today was not fun with all of the pain in my shoulders and arms, but luckily I have an awesome mom and sister who are taking really good care of me.
Now, two weeks ago I wrote about how difficult it can be when you have to turn down a placement from C.P.S. because you have too much on your plate. Even though you may want to open your home to every foster child who needs a loving family to live with, it's just not possible. If you have too many kids in your house, it's just not fair to you or the children for you to split your attention in so many directions.
What I didn't mention in that post, was that sometimes you might need to turn down a new placement even when you don't currently have any foster children in your home. On one of the foster family pages that I'm a part of, I noticed a post from a woman today who was clearly upset. Her very first foster children, a sibling pair, had been removed from her care this morning and returned home. Her family was understandably hurting from the loss of these two children in their lives, and they were trying to cope with this difficult part of their foster care journey. However, as she put it, she hadn't even had time to change the bed sheets when she received a call asking her to take two new children. Her answer? She unfortunately had to decline the placement. Her family needed time to adjust to losing their first foster children, and she knew that they wouldn't be emotionally available to care for these new kids.
When you say good-bye to a foster child, whether it's for the first time or the seventeenth time, it's a very emotional experience. You go through these stages of grief, whether you're angry, sad, or trying to convince yourself that the kids will be alright after returning to their biological family. You need time to work through all of the emotions that come with saying good-bye to a foster child, and you can't just jump into a new placement. It's not fair to your family, or the kids who would be coming into your home, to ignore your sadness and try to take care of everyone. You need time to adjust and refocus before taking care of another foster child.
Most people become foster parents so that they can help children in need. They want to make the world a better place for at least a handful of kids. They want to do their part to make a difference. This means that it's difficult to turn down a placement, especially when you have the room in your house. But you need to know that you're going to be 100% committed to being emotionally available for the children that you take in, which means that you need to know when you need to take a step back. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of a child.
Thank you so much for your continued support! I look forward to sharing more stories about my experience with foster care, and hopefully hearing from readers who have questions or similar stories to share. I'm always willing to answer questions and hear about other experiences! Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!
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My family has been doing foster care since I was three years old. I'm the only biological child in my family, though I now have five permanent siblings. Having nineteen siblings over the course of my lifetime has been an incredible experience, and I'm hoping that by sharing some of the ups and downs of being the only bio kid in a foster family, other foster families or people looking into doing foster care will be able to learn a bit of what life can be like. I also like to share what life is like on my journey to becoming a published author, as well as where my schooling and career choice are taking me.