Closet Tears

Welcome back to Taylor Talks!

So as you may know, my family has not been complete for a while now. My brother moved out four months ago and hasn't had any contact with us since. Well, this afternoon, we learned just where we stand with him.

Now, I know that I basically give away all details of my life on this blog, and my family pretty much has no privacy anymore. But some things really are private, and for that reason, I won't get into any details about exactly what happened today. That being said, I will just say that there was contact made and that it did not go well.

Today basically told us exactly what my brother thinks of us and where we stand with him. There's nothing we can do to change his opinion; it's very clear that nothing is going to change anytime soon. I can be angry, sad, confused, annoyed, or all of the above, but it doesn't matter. My opinion means nothing apparently.

The other day, I was cleaning out my closet, and my mom came over to help me make space for spring clothing. All of my hangers are exactly the same, but all the way on the side of the closet were a handful of hangers that didn't belong. My mom picked them up, held them out to me, and asked why I was wasting space with hangers that weren't mine and weren't even being used. I just kind of shrugged, not able to say anything, my throat immediately getting tight. Then my mom asked me if I was keeping them because they were my brother's, and almost laughing (not to be mean, of course) because, really, they were just hangers. And I lost it. The tears started flowing, and I just stood there in front of the closet, looking at the only belongings of my brother that I had in my possession. I don't look at the hangers ever, I don't put clothes on them, and I don't reach over to touch them, but I have kept them in the closet for the past four months just so I can know that they're there. And I'll continue to keep them there, no matter what happens with my brother. He may have stopped loving me, but I'll never stop loving him.

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Thanks!
Taylor

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