Creative Agony

Welcome back to Taylor Talks!

I spent the majority of the day in my room again today, but this time it was for a good reason... I was working on my books!

I started out the morning working on some sketches for my new children's book. I'm still going back and forth between the text of the story and the illustrations, but I wanted to see what I could accomplish with the drawings today. I was actually able to fix up part of an illustration that I had already completed but wasn't totally satisfied with, and now I'm happy with the way it looks. I still don't have much done, but working on a children's book is a long process and I know that it's going to take me a while to write and illustrate the entire book.

After working on the drawings for a while, I pulled up my Young Adult novel on my laptop. I haven't written much lately because I found myself stuck once again in the creative process, but then I started thinking about what I've already written. You may or may not remember, but a while ago I wrote that I had actually switched the order of two of my chapters, which suddenly made everything fall into place more easily in the story. Well, the idea of those chapters may have made more sense in the new order, but today I realized that I had a lot of editing and revising to do. The chapter that now came second actually contained a lot of information that was leading up to the chapter that now came before it. Nothing made sense anymore.

I spent a good hour or so scrolling back and forth between those two chapters, skimming most of it, re-reading key parts. I looked at my book outline. I rubbed my eyes until they were sore. I stretched and moaned and cursed myself for changing the order of those chapters. And just when I was about to tell myself to forget the whole thing and go back to my original plan, I suddenly realized what I had to do. I grabbed a pencil and my notebook and started writing down what I had to change in order for things to make sense again. Take out part A. Change part B to reflect part C. Make sure any days or dates mentioned reflect the correct timeline.

That hour felt like agony to me, like nothing in the whole world made sense anymore. But it was just an hour. In the grand scheme of the writing process, it was nothing at all. And when that hour was over, I had clarity again. I had a plan, and I knew exactly what I had to do. So maybe I didn't actually get it all done today, but I jotted down enough notes in detail that I won't forget what I have to do when I eventually get to it all.

Parts of the writing process make me crazy sometimes, but I know that it's all going to be worth it in the end. I've never cared so deeply for a project before this novel. I love working on my children's books as well, but this novel is the one thing that I believe in the most. My sister asked me today how long I've been working on this book, and I realized that it's been almost two and a half years. It seems like forever. Maybe I'll be working on it for another two and a half years before it's absolutely perfect (although I really hope not!), and if so, I know that will be worth it as well. Because deep down, I know that this is the book that's going to get my name into bookstores and my writing into the hands of young adults across the country. I believe in myself and this book, and no amount of obstacles are going to stop me from crafting this novel into exactly what I have envisioned.

Your continued support means the world to me. From foster care to novels, and family to work experiences, I look forward to sharing more of my life with you each day. Don't hesitate to share your own stories with me or ask me questions about my life. Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!

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Thanks!
Taylor

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