Some nights, when I'm not sure what I want to blog about, I just sit and think about my life. Sometimes all I'm left with is the thought that my life is boring, and I still don't know what to write about. Other times, like tonight, these random thoughts will pop into my head that make me think, wonder, and want to explore a topic.
Part of me likes to believe that these children have memories of us too, but part of me knows that they've probably forgotten us over the years. They don't have those pictures, and they don't have anyone to talk to about those memories. They go back to their lives with their biological families and I'm sure that those bio families don't want to remember the time that they were separated from their children (or why). And that's fine; we help those children for as long as we can, and we know that we have no control over what happens after they leave our home. Still, there's that part of me that likes to think that deep down, my foster siblings still remember me in some way.
I've had siblings of all different ages. Maybe there's a possibility that the kids who were older remember us, but what about the babies that we had? Tonight I realized that those babies are going to grow up and never even know that they were in foster care, much less remember my family or living with us. I mean, it's good for those babies, that they won't ever know about that difficult part of their lives, but it's crazy to think that a whole chunk of their past will be unknown to them.
You don't remember life from when you were a baby, of course, but you have pictures to look at, and people to talk about your life with. I love hearing old stories, or pulling out the home videos from when I was little. What will happen when my infant foster siblings grow big enough to question their parents on why there are no pictures of them as a baby? Will they question it at all? Will they ever realize that there's a part of their lives that their parents can't reminisce about?
It's funny the questions that you come up with when you're thinking late at night. I guess I'll never know the answer to tonight's mysteries though. Sometimes being part of a foster family is a little more complicated than you think!
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