Do You Keep In Touch?

Welcome back to Taylor Talks!

"Isn't it hard to say good-bye?"

That's one of the first questions I always receive when people find out that my family does foster care.

"Do you ever keep in touch with your foster siblings?"

That's one of the next questions that I am always asked.

After we say good-bye to a foster child, we lose complete contact with them. There are no phone calls, no play dates, and no Christmas cards. You go from having a sibling to not having a sibling. Yes, it's really difficult.

However, with the amazing technology that we have today, I was actually able to find my very first foster sister through social media. Remember when Myspace was a thing? I know, it's hard to think back that far! Well I was in middle school when my mom first let me get a Myspace account, and somehow I was able to find my first foster sister through the website. She was old enough when she returned to her biological father that she remembered her time with us. When I found her, I sent her a message and we got to talking. It was so amazing to reconnect, and to find out how she and her brother were doing after so many years. We still have each other on Facebook, and though we don't talk all of the time, it's nice to see what's going on in her life and comment on her pictures once in a while.


I've tried to look for other foster siblings on Facebook in the past, but I haven't been able to find anyone. Maybe they weren't old enough to be on social media yet, or maybe their accounts were private. I don't know. But even if I found some of my former siblings, I probably wouldn't have reached out to them. Some of my siblings were just too little when they lived with us, and they probably don't even remember it. I don't want to reach out to people and make things awkward.

But the other night, I did find one of my foster sisters online. This particular sister was old enough that she probably remembers her time with us. And even though I'm an adult now, she's over 18 as well, so it wouldn't be creepy if I sent her a message. So I decided to take a shot and write to her. I asked if she remembered living with us and how she and her brother were doing. But with the way Facebook works, I don't know if she'll see my message. You know how sometimes things get hidden in that "other" folder? Yeah, that's where my message ended up. That means that she didn't get a notification that she had a new message, and she won't see it unless she specifically goes into that folder. Oh well. But at least I put it out there, and we'll see what happens in the future.

I absolutely wish that there was a way to keep in touch with all of my foster siblings. It would be amazing to watch them grow and see how they turn out in life. But it's not possible, and it's hard to say good-bye knowing that you'll never see them after they leave your home. And yet so many foster families go through this difficulty all of the time. It's part of the foster care experience. And I wouldn't change my foster care experience for anything, even if I can't talk to all of my siblings again.

Thank you so much for your continued support! I look forward to sharing more stories about my experience with foster care, and hopefully hearing from readers who have questions or similar stories to share. I'm always willing to answer questions and hear about other experiences! Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!

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Thanks!
Taylor

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