Today was a pretty sad day for me, because I was really missing my best friend and living in New York.
My little sisters were supposed to be the flower girls, and I had really been looking forward to watching them walk down the aisle in their beautiful dresses. I couldn't wait to be reunited with my best friend, and with all of the people who we've been calling family since I was in third grade. We should have been there today, and we couldn't get there.
I haven't even checked Facebook because I don't want to see the pictures yet. I just wanted to lay in bed all day and ignore life, and I just felt so homesick. I texted my best friend early this morning when I first woke up, just to say that I missed him and to congratulate everyone for me, but I never heard back from him. The rational part of my brain knows that he was busy all day, but there's part of my heart that just feels so sad that he didn't even have a minute to reach out to me. I should have been sitting with him at the reception, and taking goofy pictures with him, but instead I didn't even get to talk to him today.
This is just the first of many big days that we're going to miss out on now that we're in Florida. Some days I love living here, and other days I hate the fact that we moved. I miss living 2 minutes from my best friend, and I miss being involved in each others' daily lives. When we were leaving New York, I thought that nothing would really change, that even though we wouldn't see each other face to face all of the time, we'd still be texting or video chatting and keeping each other up to date on what was going on. But things have already changed; we went from texting every day after we got down here, to texting every few days, to texting every other week... I feel like I don't even know what's going on in his life anymore, and I just have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm slowly going to be replaced by someone who he can still see all of the time.
It's no one's fault. I don't blame anyone. I'm sure that this move is going to benefit our family in the long run. But right now, I would give anything to go back to living in New York and having my old life back.
Congratulations A & J... Hope your wedding was beautiful and may you have a wonderful life together.
Thank you so much for your continued support! I look forward to sharing more stories about my experience with foster care, and hopefully hearing from readers who have questions or similar stories to share. I'm always willing to answer questions and hear about other experiences! Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!
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