Taylor Talks
Life as an Author, Disney World Cast Member, and Big Sister through Foster Care & Adoption
                              Currently pursuing my own adoption journey... I'm #DreamingofaDaughter!
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Restless

9/29/2015

2 Comments

 
Welcome back to Taylor Talks!

Do you ever just feel restless and don't know what to do with yourself?
We've been in Florida for two months now and while there's probably a lot that I should be doing, I feel like if we're not out running errands like crazy, I'm just sitting and doing nothing. I hate feeling like that. I think part of the problem is that I don't have a job yet and I'm not in school. This is the first year since preschool that I haven't been in school, and I'm just not used to it. I guess I should be by now, but I still feel so weird when I see my friends writing about homework or classes online and I'm doing nothing to further my education.

Sometimes I just wish we could win the lottery. Then I could afford to take whatever classes I'm interested in, and I wouldn't need to worry about financial aid or how I could pay for college. I'm so ready for that next step in getting my Master's Degree, and I can't believe that I'm not doing anything to work toward that goal. Part of me just wishes that we had never moved, and then I would be in school right now and still on track to become a teacher. Then the other part of me is so glad that we moved because it has given me a new perspective in life and made me really think about what I want to do in the future. I don't just want to teach in a classroom anymore; I want to explore my options with my Deaf Studies minor, and I want to look into other ways that I could work with kids without teaching them in a school building all day long.

Most days, even though I'm not working, I feel like I'm going all day long. Sometimes I'm teaching sign language classes in the mornings and then my mom and I start running errands, and other days we drop the kids off at school and just have breakfast before heading out for the day. We'll be out of the house all day long, coming home just in time to pick up the girls from school. There's no down time ever. We're just constantly going. Yet when the rare day arrives that we don't have things going on outside of the house, I feel like I should be doing something and stop being lazy. In my head, I know that I'm exhausted and that I need the down time; my mom and I both need that time to just sit, but then at the end of the night I start feeling restless and guilty about not doing anything for the day.

I'm hoping that once I get a job, I'll appreciate the lazy days more. Right now, I guess I feel like I haven't earned them, because I'm just helping out with some errands. I feel like I should be in school and getting something accomplished. Meanwhile, all of the errands I've been helping out with are things that my mom really needed completed and she was happy to have me along for some help. I think I just need to get out of school mode and realize that being productive doesn't just mean homework or a part-time job; it means getting things accomplished throughout the day, whether you're home or out running errands. I've accomplished a lot over the past few weeks, so I just need to take advantage of those rare opportunities to sit and watch a television show and appreciate the down time.

​Thank you so much for your continued support! I look forward to sharing more stories about my experience with foster care, and hopefully hearing from readers who have questions or similar stories to share. I'm always willing to answer questions and hear about other experiences! Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!

I’d greatly appreciate it if you would share this blog with friends and family through your favorite social media sites. If you’re sharing on Twitter, don’t forget to tag me (@TayTayK02) and use the hashtag #TaylorTalks.

Thanks!
Taylor
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2 Comments
Pam
10/1/2015 12:08:40 am

Hey Taylor, Sounds like you are pretty busy to me!!! Things will all fall into place in God's timing. Sometimes we have days (and weeks, months etc.) where we don't see the plan taking shape and it feels a little purpose-less. When my youngest daughter turned 18 last year, I told her that if she wasn't going to get a job that she had to volunteer somewhere. Since we live in a very small town that is rather economically oppressed it was not hard to find places for her to volunteer. She actually worked 40 hours a week for over six months and then 20 hours a week for the next few months. She had some flareups with her health (she has MS) and so she had to quit for awhile. Since you have such an amazing history with foster care, what about becoming a respite/helper? In our state, as long as you are finger printed and pass the background check, you can babysit foster kids. I'm sure you would know what connections to make in order to do that in your area. As I head into becoming a foster mom, I'm already getting people lined up to become helpers. Since I'm widowed, I will need all the help I can get!! (Wish you lived closer - we are only about five states and 15 hours apart!! LOL) Anyway, I'm sure that a day in the sun at the beach is probably pretty nice if you have lived a busy life up until now. Take some time and have some fun!

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Taylor Faith Krigsman link
10/1/2015 04:54:20 pm

Haha Pam, if I could enjoy a day at the beach, I'd be happy with that! It seems as though I'm either running a million errands with my mom or I'm sitting and watching TV until it's time to pick up my little sisters from school. There's no real relaxation time, and yet I feel like I'm not actually doing anything productive during the day. In reality, I'm doing much more than I usually do because I've been helping my mom with the daily running of the house chores, like going to the grocery store or hanging up pictures in our new house. But when I get those few hours to sit and do nothing in my bedroom, I feel like I'm wasting time. It's a never-ending cycle!

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    About

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    My family started doing foster care when I was three years old. We took in nineteen children over the course of eighteen years, with our last placement leaving in December 2014. I'm the only biological child in my family, though my parents adopted five of my siblings.

    I love to share my perspective on the foster care system and share how my unique upbringing shaped my life.

    I'm also a Cast Member at Walt Disney World and lover of all things Disney! My career allows me the opportunity to find a little bit of Magic in life every day.


    I enjoy sharing my journey as a writer as well. Find my children's books on Amazon and keep following my blog for updates on future books that I'll be releasing!

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