What Do I Do?

9/28/2015

Welcome back to Taylor Talks!

Earlier this month, I wrote about getting back in touch with a former foster sister. For some reason, I found myself thinking about this today.

It's been a few weeks since I spoke to my former foster sister, and I've been wondering if I should reach out to her again. This isn't a typical situation for me, so I really don't know how to handle it. Part of me wants to reach out and keep asking her about her life, while the other part of me feels like I should give her space and wait to see if she contacts me at all.

I think part of the reason why I don't want to reach out to her again is because I don't know what to say to her. Wish you could have lived with us longer? Hope you're doing well even though you're not my sister anymore? I mean, we've already had the initial awkward conversation reacquainting ourselves with each other, now what do I do?

The last time we spoke, I mentioned that I would send my former foster sister any old pictures of us that I came across. I feel like that might be a good way to open up the lines of communication again, after not speaking for a few weeks... If I find some pictures to send her, it gives me a reason to write to her. Otherwise, I'm not sure what to say to her or what to ask her. I don't want to overwhelm her, but I would love to know more about her as a grown-up versus a little kid.

Sometimes I just think that my life is so weird. I mean, how many other people need to think about how they're going to go about having a conversation with a former sibling? It's just not a common thought that most young adults need to ponder. Yet at the same time, I feel so lucky to have grown up the way that I did, and to have these strange decisions in my life.

Thank you so much for your continued support! I look forward to sharing more stories about my experience with foster care, and hopefully hearing from readers who have questions or similar stories to share. I'm always willing to answer questions and hear about other experiences! Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!

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Thanks!
Taylor

2 Comments

Pam H.

9/30/2015 11:56:06 pm

I can't imagine how difficult it would be to try and find out about your sibling especially when she is really not making a move to converse back. Perhaps being honest and just saying how much you would love to know about her life and how life had gone for her after she left your home, but you also don't want to bring up any memories that she is not comfortable sharing. Letting her know that you are there for her, you truly care, and perhaps inviting her to visit with your parents sometime if she would like, might be some things to pass on to her. Every human being has the basic need to feel loved and wanted and letting her know that you have those feelings for her may be all she will need for now. Don't give up. Maybe you planted the seed to reconnect and she may need to take some time to let that seed grow a bit before she realizes that connecting with you might be a really nice thing for the both of you.

Taylor Faith Krigsman link

10/1/2015 04:05:13 pm

When I last spoke with my former foster sister, she seemed excited about being back in touch with me and the possibility of getting together sometime in the future. I think you make a good point though, about making sure she is comfortable with what she is sharing, and that's the fine line that I've been walking. I don't want to ask her about too much of her life and make her uncomfortable, and yet deep down I would love to talk to her for hours on end and find out every detail of how her life has gone since leaving my home. It's a very strange situation, but I'm definitely not giving up and will be pursuing some kind of relationship, no matter how small, with her in the future!

About

My family has been doing foster care since I was three years old. I'm the only biological child in my family, though I now have five permanent siblings. Having nineteen siblings over the course of my lifetime has been an incredible experience, and I'm hoping that by sharing some of the ups and downs of being the only bio kid in a foster family, other foster families or people looking into doing foster care will be able to learn a bit of what life can be like. I also like to share what life is like on my journey to becoming a published author, as well as where my schooling and career choice are taking me.

What Do I Do?

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