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I have had the weirdest day today. Seriously, it has been one thing after another, and I feel like I'm losing my mind because I haven't been able to decide whether to laugh or cry at everything...
Let me start at the beginning. I got home from work yesterday when it was actually already today. It was about 12:30am today when I got home from closing for yesterday's shift. As I do on all other work nights, I came home, plugged in my phone, and went to get ready for bed. Since my sister is already sleeping when I get home, I change into my pajamas in the bathroom after taking off make-up and brushing teeth and whatnot. A normal routine that pretty much everyone goes through, right? Well, does everyone pass out in the middle of that routine, or just me?
That's right, I passed out. I'm talking blacked out, don't have a clue what happened, passed out. One minute I was standing up and changing into my pajamas, and the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes, sitting on the bathroom floor, in the dark. I must have passed out and knocked into the light switch on my way down or something. It was so scary! I didn't know what was going on or how long I had passed out for, but I got up slowly, finished getting dressed, and went back out to the living room where my mom was still up watching television. She asked me what the loud crashing noise had been, and I actually started laughing as I said, "I think I just passed out." Needless to say, my mom got up and got me some apple juice and made sure I was alright before letting me go to bed.
When I woke up for work this morning, I was still kind of shaky and felt weird. My mom ended up telling my dad about our early morning excitement and because I kept laughing through the story, she almost started to question whether or not I had actually passed out. I admitted that I actually just laugh when I'm scared or upset, and that yes, I had actually passed out. It was crazy. Of course my parents were then concerned about me driving to work, but I assured them that all was good and I went on my way.
All day long, I felt dizzy and nauseous. I laughed whenever I thought about the incident overnight, but I also felt like crying all day long. But here's what added to the bad feelings... Today is the seventeenth anniversary of my grandpa's death. So I had to keep pushing those thoughts out of my head throughout the day so I wouldn't just start bawling at work. So between feeling sick and being upset, it wasn't the greatest day for me.
Now, here's what else was weird about today. First of all, I couldn't do my job for about an hour when there was a problem with something behind the scenes. I literally walked around in circles for a while trying to find something else to do and help out with because I couldn't do my own job. That threw off my whole morning. As if I wasn't feeling weird enough, of course there had to be strange things happening at work too.
The one thing that may have been the weirdest part of my day though, was when I saw a Guest who stopped me in my tracks for a minute. He was an older man, and I only saw him from the back. The first thing that I noticed about him was his hair: he had the same hair as my grandpa. The same bald head with white hair around the back like a ring. I know, I'm crazy... How many men in the world have this exact same hair when they get older? But it was just weird to see this guy on today of all days. So as I walked past him, I chose not to look at his face to see what he looked like. Instead, I chose to believe that it was a small sign to make me feel a little better today. I usually don't really believe in signs like that, but today was a day when I truly needed that boost.
I'm feeling alright physically now, but I'm still mentally drained. This may be my least favorite day of the year, but at least this year I had a lot to keep me busy.
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My family has been doing foster care since I was three years old. I'm the only biological child in my family, though I now have five permanent siblings. Having nineteen siblings over the course of my lifetime has been an incredible experience, and I'm hoping that by sharing some of the ups and downs of being the only bio kid in a foster family, other foster families or people looking into doing foster care will be able to learn a bit of what life can be like. I also like to share what life is like on my journey to becoming a published author, as well as where my schooling and career choice are taking me.