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Life as an Author, Disney World Cast Member, and Big Sister through Foster Care & Adoption
                              Currently pursuing my own adoption journey... I'm #DreamingofaDaughter!
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Visit Tantrums

4/13/2015

1 Comment

 
Welcome back to Taylor Talks!
​

The other day, I received a question from a reader, Sierra. She said that she worked at a daycare where a little girl in foster care comes back from visits to the class and is visibly upset. Sierra wanted to know if I had any advice or suggestions on how to help this little girl feel better about her situation.
The truth is that all children react to visitation with their biological parents differently. Some kids love seeing their parents and cry when the visit is over. Some kids don't like going to visits because they are scared and confused about the whole foster care situation. It all depends on the child's age, how much they understand, and the situation as a whole.

Even when a child is too young to explain how they're feeling, you can still help them with the frustration that they're feeling. With the last foster sister I had, she was only two years old. She couldn't express herself. It was clear that she was having nightmares every week after visits though, so something was wrong. When I was home on days that she went on visits, I would try to ask her simple questions:

  • Did you see your mommy?
  • Did you eat breakfast with your mommy?
  • Did you play with toys with your mommy?

Simple little questions that can get a yes or no answer will give you helpful information and will help the child to feel like they're able to talk about their experience, even if they don't know what to say.

In my experience just working with kids, I've also learned that kids express themselves really well through playing. To Sierra, I would say to ask this little girl some simple questions about the visit and maybe try to get her to use dolls to show you what she did with her bio parents. Play is really the easiest way for young children to express themselves.

I know for us, we can always get information about how the visit went from the drivers when they drop the kids off afterward. I don't know if this is an option in your situation, Sierra, but finding out just a bit of information from a driver, foster parent, or any caregiver who may be dropping off the child on a visit day could be really helpful. Even if you're not given specifics, it would just help to possibly know what fun things the child did on the visit, so you could talk to her about it at daycare.

I'll have to check with my parents and see if they have any other tips or suggestions for you Sierra. I don't know how much help I was, but it's hard with little kids. It's a learning process, no matter how many kids you go through the process with, because everyone is different. If I think of anything else that might be able to help, I'll definitely let you know. Thanks for reading! If anyone else has a specific question ever, feel free to leave me a comment or use the Contact page to write to me!

I’d greatly appreciate it if you would share this blog with friends and family through your favorite social media sites. If you’re sharing on Twitter, don’t forget to tag me (@TayTayK02) and use the hashtag #TaylorTalks.

Thanks!
Taylor

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1 Comment
sierra
4/14/2015 03:33:50 am

Thanks for the reply! I hadn't ever thought of acting it out with dolls., Ill definitely give that a try!

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    About

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    My family started doing foster care when I was three years old. We took in nineteen children over the course of eighteen years, with our last placement leaving in December 2014. I'm the only biological child in my family, though my parents adopted five of my siblings.

    I love to share my perspective on the foster care system and share how my unique upbringing shaped my life.

    I'm also a Cast Member at Walt Disney World and lover of all things Disney! My career allows me the opportunity to find a little bit of Magic in life every day.


    I enjoy sharing my journey as a writer as well. Find my children's books on Amazon and keep following my blog for updates on future books that I'll be releasing!

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