Taylor Talks
Life as an Author, Disney World Cast Member, and Big Sister through Foster Care & Adoption
                              Currently pursuing my own adoption journey... I'm #DreamingofaDaughter!
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
  • Dreaming of a Daughter
  • Small Businesses
    • The Write Creations
    • Enhanced Edits
  • About Taylor
  • Contact

"Real" Parents

12/4/2015

0 Comments

 
Welcome back to Taylor Talks!

I'm desperately trying to get back in routine around here, but that hasn't quite happened yet. However, since I'm a little more awake tonight, I thought I would discuss a topic that one of my readers asked me to address.
Back in February, I discussed a pretty big topic: people will actually ask foster/adoptive families who the "real" children are in the family. It's ridiculous... the terms are "biological," "foster," and "adopted," not "real" or "imaginary." Yet people constantly use this weird phrasing and it makes me crazy.

One of my readers was recently discussing this topic from a different perspective with her daughter. She adopted her daughter as an infant, so she's the only mother that her daughter has ever known. Yet apparently, if her daughter happens to mention being adopted, people will ask her if she knows who her "real" parents are.

Alright, we can take a step back here and realize that people just don't know any better. They're obviously referring to the biological or birth parents. Both of those terms are more acceptable than "real" parents. But it's still a weird question to ask someone after finding out that they're adopted.

Whether you're asking about who the "real" children are, or asking if an adopted child knows anything about their "real" parents, the wording can be offensive, but I think the actual question can be offensive as well. From a sibling perspective, I would be offended if someone implied that my siblings were different because they were adopted. Of course they're my parents' real children. They're not actors playing a part. They're just as much a part of the family as I am, and as my little brother likes to point out, my parents chose to have them as children, while they were stuck with me from birth.

When it comes to a situation where you're asking an adopted child what they know about their "real" parents, that's offensive to the people who are the parents, the people who have raised that child. There are many reasons why a child would be put up for adoption, and sometimes the biological parents are giving up their rights for the good of the child. Not all biological parents are in the wrong or have their children taken away from them. Of course, whether or not the biological parents were looking out for the best interest of the child, you can't disregard them. They gave that child life; the child wouldn't exist without them. It's okay to talk about them within your family, and in certain situations it might be alright for someone else to ask about the situation surrounding the biological parents. However, it's important to remember that the children's parents are the people who changed diapers, kissed scraped knees, checked homework, took pictures of each milestone.... anyone can be a mother or father, but it takes a special person to be a mommy or daddy. An adoptive parent has gone through so much more in order to become a parent, and they deserve that recognition. They shouldn't be cast aside as though they weren't the real parents.

I always try to be polite when faced with this kind of a situation, but I always make sure I correct people in their wording to make sure that they are more informed for the future. Have you ever been asked about "real" children, siblings, or parents? How did you handle the situation? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Thank you so much for your continued support! I look forward to sharing more stories about my experience with foster care, and hopefully hearing from readers who have questions or similar stories to share. I'm always willing to answer questions and hear about other experiences! Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!

I’d greatly appreciate it if you would share this blog with friends and family through your favorite social media sites. If you’re sharing on Twitter, don’t forget to tag me (@TayTayK02) and use the hashtag #TaylorTalks.

Thanks!
Taylor
Previous Post
Next Post
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About

    Picture
    My family started doing foster care when I was three years old. We took in nineteen children over the course of eighteen years, with our last placement leaving in December 2014. I'm the only biological child in my family, though my parents adopted five of my siblings.

    I love to share my perspective on the foster care system and share how my unique upbringing shaped my life.

    I'm also a Cast Member at Walt Disney World and lover of all things Disney! My career allows me the opportunity to find a little bit of Magic in life every day.


    I enjoy sharing my journey as a writer as well. Find my children's books on Amazon and keep following my blog for updates on future books that I'll be releasing!

    Archives

    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    December 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014


    Categories

    All
    About My Family
    About The Blog
    Adoption
    Baking
    Birthdays
    Career
    Cast Member Mondays
    Day To Day
    Disney
    Family Life
    Foster Care
    Foster Parent Fridays
    Holidays
    Informative
    Inspiration
    Memories
    My Life
    Our Experience
    School
    Shared Stories
    Sign Language
    The Write Creations
    Writing


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.