Simply a Mother

Welcome back to Taylor Talks!

I saw something tonight on Facebook that I wanted to discuss here, because I think that it's really important for people to understand. It was a writing from the actress Sandra Bullock, in regards to the adoption of her son. I'm so glad that a family member found this writing and sent it to my mom, because it was nice to read it.

Now, I saw this writing on a fan page, so I don't know if the text was altered in any way or where it was originally published. That being said, however, I thought that the message was wonderful and I do hope that it did originate from the source that it claims to come from. You can read the writing in its entirety through the page on which I saw it.

The post talked about the use of the phrase "adoptive mother" in place of the term "mother" when referring to moms who have adopted their children. It talked about the fact that you don't need to use any words before saying that someone is a mother; it doesn't matter how your children came into your life, as long as they're part of it. Whether or not you look alike or share the same genes makes no difference... you are mother and child.

Growing up in a family like mine, you hear all sorts of terms thrown around.

• foster
  • adopted
    • real

These words are used all of the time because people want to make sense of your life. They want to label all relationships and put people in their place because it's weird for people to not understand how a family has come together. Is that your foster sister? Oh, your brother is adopted? Are they your real siblings? It's ridiculous how people want to categorize everything... they're not my imaginary friends; they're my brothers and sisters.

On a normal, daily basis, I don't go around talking about my "foster" brothers and sisters. If I'm reliving an old memory, I talk about my brother doing something silly, or how cute one of my sisters was. I know that some people don't see all of those foster children as my siblings now that they're gone, but I will always count them as my brothers and sisters. My parents will always count each and every one of those kids as their own children. We don't need to explain to each new person we meet that I'm the bio kid, my brothers and sisters are adopted, and hey, did we mention how many pets we've adopted throughout the years? No, we're a family, and we don't need labels to clarify what we're talking about.

When I'm writing blog posts, I tend to stick in a label here or there to clarify a situation because I'm writing about my experiences so that others can benefit from what I've learned. Writing a blog specifically about being the only bio kid in a foster/adoptive family is completely separate from my daily life. I put information in my blog that I don't bring up in day to day conversation because it isn't relevant in my normal life. When someone asks me how many siblings I have, I absolutely bring up the fact that I've had nineteen siblings through foster care, because I am so proud of my family. But I don't bring up the topic over and over again, nor have I ever felt the need to introduce my siblings to someone as "my adopted brother" or my "foster sister" because they're just my siblings. I'm pretty sure that being the brother or sister of Taylor Faith Krigsman is honor enough without needing a foster or adoptive label in there (*insert overly dramatic wink here* -- I'm sure they actually all wish they could get a break from me once in a while!).

Sandra Bullock is spot on when she says that she just wants to be a mother, no "adoptive" needed. I wish that other people would stop putting such an emphasis on how lucky kids are to be adopted by celebrities.... I'm pretty sure those celebs are the lucky ones to have those amazing kids in their lives, and they don't need labels to remind themselves of that fact.

Thank you so much for your continued support! I look forward to sharing more stories about my experience with foster care, and hopefully hearing from readers who have questions or similar stories to share. I'm always willing to answer questions and hear about other experiences! Please don't forget to like and share my Facebook author page as well!

I’d greatly appreciate it if you would share this blog with friends and family through your favorite social media sites. If you’re sharing on Twitter, don’t forget to tag me (@TayTayK02) and use the hashtag #TaylorTalks.

Thanks!
Taylor

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